Another meeting with our Ukrainian colleagues. Another reminder that when people live through prolonged trauma, coping does not always mean doing something.
One participant shared:
“Nothing works anymore. What worked before doesn’t work.”
Another said:
“I want to sleep. I am so tired from sleepless nights.”
These words stayed with me.
We often think of coping as action: finding a strategy, practicing a technique, connecting with others, exercising, meditating, or doing something that makes us feel better.
But what happens when the strategies that worked yesterday no longer work today?
Sometimes, noticing that nothing seems to work is already part of coping.
In the Narrative Awareness® Framework, I describe a dynamic movement between stages. A person may move from Being → Observing → and back to Being.
There does not always need to be immediate progress toward changing something.
Sometimes we observe:
What is happening to me right now?
What used to help but no longer does?
What is my body telling me?
And sometimes we return to simply Being.
During prolonged trauma, perhaps we need to expand our understanding of coping—not only as something we do, but also as our capacity to notice, listen, and allow ourselves to be where we are.
At VELA Well-being, these are some of the lessons we continue to learn from our Ukrainian colleagues.
Sometimes coping is doing.
Sometimes coping is observing.
And sometimes coping is simply being.
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