Pause. Observe. Choose.
A Practical Exercise for Helping Professionals and Caregivers
Helping professionals and caregivers spend much of their time responding to the needs of others. In the process, it can become difficult to pause long enough to notice what is happening within themselves.
Self-care advice often tells us to:
Slow down.
Do nothing.
Take time off.
Rest.
These suggestions can be valuable, but there is no single form of rest or self-care that works for everyone.
For one person, doing nothing for a morning may feel restorative. For another, stillness may not help at all. What feels restorative might instead be gardening, cooking, walking, biking, swimming, creating something, spending time in nature, or engaging in an activity they genuinely enjoy.
The goal is not to chase relaxation or force yourself to practice a particular kind of self-care.
The goal is to observe what you need and notice what brings even a small sense of joy, connection, energy, or ease in this moment.
The important question may not be:
“Am I resting enough?”
Instead, ask:
“What do I need right now?”
Try This: Observe Before You Choose
Give yourself 5–15 minutes. You do not need to fix anything or force yourself to feel differently.
1. Pause.
Stop for a moment.
Take a breath and notice yourself as you are.
2. Observe.
Ask yourself:
- What am I feeling right now?
- What is happening in my body?
- Am I tired, restless, overwhelmed, lonely, tense, energized, or something else?
- What thoughts or stories are moving through my mind?
You don’t need to judge or change your answers. Simply notice them.
3. Notice the “should.”
Listen for the inner voice that says:
“I should be working.”
“I should be productive.”
“I should exercise.”
“I should rest.”
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
Instead of arguing with this voice, try acknowledging it with compassion.
One participant in a Narrative Awareness practice described adding a simple response to their personal collection of supportive phrases for the inner critic:
“I love you, too.”
Try saying it gently to your own inner critic.
You do not have to fight every thought that appears. Sometimes noticing it with compassion is enough.
4. Ask: What would feel supportive right now?
Maybe you need to do nothing.
Maybe you need sleep.
Maybe you need movement.
Maybe you need music, gardening, cooking, walking, biking, swimming, creating something, talking with someone, sitting outside, or simply drinking a cup of tea without rushing.
There is no universal “right” answer.
5. Choose one small thing.
Give yourself permission to do something that feels nourishing, even if you have only five or ten minutes.
Then notice:
How do I feel now?
Not:
Did I do self-care correctly?
But simply:
Did this help me?
A Narrative Awareness® Reflection
Narrative Awareness invites us to move from automatically following our internal stories to observing them, understanding them, and consciously choosing what comes next.
You may notice a story such as:
“I don’t have time for myself.”
“Other people need me more.”
“Resting is unproductive.”
“I should be able to handle this.”
You do not have to immediately change that story.
First, simply recognize:
This is the story I am experiencing right now.
Observe it. Accept its presence. Become curious about it.
Then ask:
Do I want to keep following this story in this moment, or would I like to choose something different?
Sometimes the choice is rest.
Sometimes the choice is movement.
Sometimes the choice is joy.
And sometimes the most supportive choice is simply allowing yourself to be.
Take This With You
Self-care does not have to look the same for everyone.
Instead of chasing relaxation, productivity, happiness, or even well-being, practice noticing what is already happening within you.
Pause. Observe. Listen. Choose.
And somewhere in your day, even for a few minutes, give yourself permission to notice and choose what brings you a little joy.
For those who spend so much of their lives supporting others, those few minutes can matter.